Wendy Saunders photo life

2007-08-06T22:09:00.000+08:00

2007-06-28T18:27:00.000+08:00

2007-06-18T20:24:00.000+08:00

2007-06-14T00:55:00.001+08:00

2007-06-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

2007-05-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

2007-05-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

Tracy found herself daydreaming again, the light from the afternoon sun streaming through her window was making her feel lazy and tired. She started yawning then nodding and before she knew it she was asleep.
She felt herself falling through colour, a mass of spinning colour, when she looked down there was no end to it. It felt like she would fall forever so much so that Tracy stopped wondering when it would end. Until finally she realized she was in front of a door. A door just like
a rainbow.
Tracy Knocked and then listened to the echo from the tunnel she had just fallen from. She knocked again and the door swung open to reveal a little man her size on the other side.
“Hello she said. Who are you?”
“Pardon me, I am Sobo, a Belly Button person and welcome to Belly button Island. You must have been sucked through the Belly Button vortex to get here, that sometimes happens to children who play with their belly buttons or stare at them too long. We are not used to having guests, in fact your coming was for told by the great rumble maker nearly 200 Belly Button years ago, we have been waiting for you arrival since that time.”
“You see everything here in Belly Button land isn't going as well as it should be, for the past 300 years we have been fighting an ever growing evil that has slowly started moving across the islands. If this evil isn't checked our entire island group will be forever lost to the sea, all because the great Rumble maker will erupt if put under pressure for much longer. We only have a short time to stop the evil Damaseth, a giant snake. You must fight him as it has been for told.”
The trees were swaying in the wind and the sand under her feet felt dry and warm as she stood looking up at the great big volcano peak that appeared to be in the centre of an otherwise normal island. Well normal except for the fact that everything was huge! From the flowers to the trees to the rocks (which balanced on top of each other).
“ How am I going to ever defeat this Damaseth?” she worried. If he is as big as everything else here I should be scared. I don't even have a sword or anything, I'm just a little girl, the shortest in my class.
Well, she mused, at least I have Sobo to help me. Looking at him, he looked like he would know something about how to defeat this Damaseth. With his headdress of colourful feathers, and his belt with all sorts of knives.
“Do come with me” Sobo said snapping her out of her mind wander.
And with that he turned and walked away.
“But wait!” cried Tracey
As he was quite fast for being so short.
“I don't think I can do it!”
Soho looked back and sighed
“I was hoping you would have faith.”
“You see Tracy, everyone has the power inside them to defeat evil. Whether it is a little evil or a big one. It makes no difference as long as you believe in yourself.”
“On this Island no one sleeps as the sun never sets and for as long as you are a belly button person you don't age. When it is your time the great Shempa takes you to the clouds.”That is the way we have always lived in peace and harmony. But these days things are changing and that is why I am glad you have come. Will you help us?
Tracy looked at Sobo with his funny clothes made of animal skin , his headdress and thought that he didn't look like he needed any help at all.
“I will do what I can.”, she said finally.
She followed Sobo up the green path that seemed to run all the way up to the top of the volcano. Past palm trees blowing in the warm soft wind, the island seemed to welcome her here as if she was revisiting some lost dream.
“What is up there?”, Tracy asked the wind folding round her clothes and dusting her face with her hair. She brushed it away.
“It is the sacred home of the Shempa our keeper.” exclaimed Sobo.
They walked for many hours and only stopped to drink sweet water and eat what tasted like apricots but looked like a honey comb. Every time she rested she felt a little more tired when they started walking again.
“ I cant go on much further Sobo, I feel so tired!”, she sighed.
“ It is not much further now, we are almost there.”, said Sobo.
Finally when they got to the foot of the ancient stairway to the temple at the top she looked back on the way they had come and felt giddy at the shear height she and Sobo had climbed.
Up above them she saw the entrance of the temple and this small old wizardly man in a long flowing yellow robe holding what appeared to be a long walking stick.
“Welcome my child”, he said.
“Your coming is the fulfilment of a ancient prophecy, but I am sure Sobo told you all about that.” He said smiling at them both.
“But I don't understand!”
“How can I, a small girl help you at all?”
“I don't know how to defeat the great Damaseth! I don't even know how big he is and I'm scared of snakes.”
Shempa turned towards a stone alter in the centre of the round room.
“This stone has the all the power you will need to defeat Damaseth, you need to learn to use the power of your mind. We will help you learn to master your thoughts. the Belly Button world is a place of balance but now that balance has been shifted . You will bring peace to our turbulent world.”
“We don't have long to teach you but when the sun is directly above the temple it will be time.”
“How long do we have before then?” Tracy asked.
“Well, my child that gives us exactly a week in Earth time to prepare you for Damaseth.”
That week passed with Tracy learning to master Belly Button world weapons and their different powers. For instance there was the bark sword from the everlasting tree that always grew back if broken, and the shield of igneous rock that was as light as a feather but as strong as iron. She felt herself getting stronger and stronger as the week wore on, realizing she was capable of doing many things she would never imagined herself doing.
Finally the big day arrived and she stood in the centre of the temple facing Damaseth. The Belly Button people had gathered from all over the islands to see the great battle between them.
Shempa looked at her and smiled..
“Shempa don't worry about me. You have taught me well. I believe I have the power to defeat Damaseth. I will remember your words.” She said taking his hand in hers.
“I know you can defeat Damaseth, and we the Belly Button people will be most grateful if you succeed.”
For the first time she looked at Damaseth with his hissing tongue and shifting eyes, his body a immense coil of muscle flexing as he slithered side to side. He was a dark green colour that seemed to catch the light in florescent purples, golds and blues. He was beautiful yet deadly and she saw that she would need every ounce of her training to defeat him.
She walked into the fighting circle and faced him.
Immediately a great dome of light encircled them both, shutting out everything outside their circle.
Tracy looked around not sure what had just happened. While Damaseth laughed at her.
“Not so brave now are we Tracy?”, Damaseth jeered at her.
She looked at the great Shempa and he nodded that all was well. Turning back to Damaseth she knew she could beat him if she overcame her fear.
“I am Tracy and I have come to defeat you Oh great Damaseth. To be rid of your evil plans to unbalance Belly Button land. If I defeat you you must be banished to the far ends of this earth. If you defeat me I will be your slave forever, and never return to Earth. As this is how it has been foretold!”
Their swords clashed sounding the metal on metal.. He was stronger than Tracy so it took all her skill just to keep from being hurt too badly. He slithered and glided out of her range and she had to keep from being trapped in his great body of muscle because that would spell immediate defeat. Instead she hurled great balls of light from her hands at his exposed bulk and could hide behind her shield. Its an advantage being small Tracy thought.
As the battle raged on into the night Shempa could see her getting weaker and weaker. If she didn't deliver the death blow like he had shown her it would all be over and Damaseth would be victorious. But in order to be victorious she had to hurl the flame ball directly at his eyes blinding him.
They circled each other endlessly each looking for a weakness to exploit in the other. On and on they fought until it seemed that there would be no end to the fight. At last Tracy saw her opening and hurled her fire ball but it missed bouncing off Damaseths armour, she hurled again and this time her aim was true. His great bulk swayed and fell as a great cry went up from the Belly Button people.
“ Tracy is victorious!” they shouted.
The light dome went down and she walked out the circle to the Shempa.
“ Now the Belly Button people wont ever have to be scared again.”, she whispered in his ear.
When she finally broke free from his arms she saw that he was crying.
She looked around at everyone so happy and free. She was so exhausted but she had to do one final thing.
She stood before Damaseth and said.
“You have no hold over the Belly Button people, from now on you will leave them in peace, you will be sent away to the ends of this earth to live out your days, all of your wealth will be given to the Shempa and temple to give to the people you have wronged.
“Go now.” Insisted Tracey.
And with that Damaseth was gone, led away by his kind into oblivion.
“We can never repay you for what you have done! It is now time for you to go back to your world.”, Shempa said And with that he waved his hand over her head.
Waking up in her room it was dark and her mum was calling her to tea.
“Dinner is ready Tracy!” Have you finished your homework yet?
She looked up from her bed and smiled. She realized her hand was resting on her Belly Button. Had she done her homework? It didn't matter, she would do it later.

2007-05-17T23:03:00.000+08:00

2007-05-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

bluebell blue

2007-04-26T21:47:00.000+08:00

the lambs have landed

2007-04-24T18:07:00.000+08:00

puppy love

2007-04-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

shoreham stag

2007-04-03T18:14:00.000+08:00

Somewhere near Landsend...

2007-03-17T00:37:00.000+08:00

2007-03-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

2007-02-23T18:11:00.000+08:00

a winter wonderland

2007-02-08T19:18:00.000+08:00

Snowman coming soon.....

south africa

2007-02-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

what do you see?

2007-01-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

2007-01-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

I once knew a place called Parados where we used to play among the hills as children. She and I up far away, our days under a sun that always shone. Playing, dreaming, imagining lives we could live. Hers and mine.

Fingers swishing back hair fallen on faces tilted upwards eyes narrowed from sun glare. Feet hard from ground rough and thorns wedged in between toes and heel. Limbs supple from trees climbed between field grass played by restless wind. Rocks skipped on water always moving, always searching for something perhaps found, maybe not.

Those eyes they have closed to pain. And opened to see so much more. And I hope they will always know beauty. And always see in spring colours.

Puppies!

2006-11-02T20:21:00.000+08:00

a sunday stroll

2006-10-30T03:39:00.000+08:00

piano paintings

2006-10-27T19:59:00.000+08:00

the hounded horse

2006-10-27T19:02:00.000+08:00

my paintings!

2006-10-09T22:09:00.000+08:00

2006-09-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

micrograph

greece

2006-09-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

More photos of
Greece

Its all....

2006-07-06T16:27:00.000+08:00

These photos were taken on the island Meganisi in Greece. I wrote a poem, but left it there. Up on that hill, the one with the villa that overlooks the bay with its cool clear water when the yachts sail in and the sun comes up. Then I watch it go down but it never sets. The sun always shines on Meganisi. And I remember it that way

The Little People Of Appleton

2006-06-01T01:32:00.000+08:00

So as they stopped to rest under the pretence of talking to Melrose their very good friend. The whole village swirled around Little One, Friend and Melrose. Because you see....Time was passing them by along with the window of opportunity.But as they stood engrossed in conversation they were blissfully unaware. And this would sadly not count in their favor.

It cant be! - exclaimed Melrose, How could the problem have gotten this far? I dont understaind why the elders could have let this problem become so big now we could loose everything we have always taken forgranted, the rain must keep falling.

But dont you see said Friend. We cant sit back and say its everyone elses fault because thats exactly what everyone else is doing.

Exactly! echoed Little One. This is as much our responsibility as the people who started the problem in the first place. We have to keep the rain falling, the rivers flowing the flowers in bloom and the trees bearing fruit.

Ok, I'll come with you said Melrose scratching his head but on one condition...

At this unexpected turn of events Friend and Little One both looked at him in disbelief.

Hang on said Little One, we werent even going to take you along in the first place.

Yes, this is bollocks agreed Friend we werent even going to take you.

But now we have to cut in Little One - as Friend here told you all about our mission to keep the rain falling, the trees bearing fruit, the rivers flowing and the flowers in bloom.

So they all set out to the town of Appleton*

*I'll explain when I decide why Appleton is so very very important to this story. But for now its that mysterious place with the cool name to all of us.)

And then she said...Thats all folks until Im feeling silly and all that again.

dont ask because I dont know.

2006-05-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

And this is a ladybird bug

This is a tiny particle of rock photographed with a microscope...

The Lion and The Lamb

2006-05-26T00:41:00.000+08:00

2006-05-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

They looked at the bark glasses and Friend Nudged Little One - You go first, ladies first.

Uhuh Said Little One- you're just chicken.

Oh really? Well what do you think of this - said Friend and grabbing a glass he proceeded to empty its contents in a number of very loud gulps.Satisfied that he had proven his point he sat back smuggly and said - Now its your turn Little One. I apologise for being rude but I had to as you insisted you know....

Little one looked at Friend and satisfied that he wasnt dead picked up a glass. She eyed the swirling glowing mixture with some dread but taking a sip found it to be delicious.

Oh how wounderful Mrs Monroe! she exclamed this tastes just like my grandmothers strawberry pie she only makes on my birthday.

Yes Said Mrs Monroe - she is a very good friend of mine and we often swap recipies - I modified her strawberry pie to make the weeping willow margie drink. I am glad you think it is just as good. She said beaming.

Anyway we should be off said Friend and with that he took Little Ones hand and lead her to the door.

Safe journey said Mr Monroe, and be careful mind.

We will said Little One, what could possibly go wrong...?

As Mr and Mrs Monroe watched them walk down the street and turn the corner Mr Monroe hugged Mrs Monroe as he said. They are so young, do you think it was right of us to give them such a big burden to carry? They dont know how important it is that they suceed. Oh, I need another nicotine patch! - and then he sighed.

Dont worry said Mrs Monroe, what is done is done - there is no point in regretting the past, just hope for the best in the future thats all you can do. Do you remember before you lost all that weight and you got stuck in the Burrow between the well and Mr and Mrs Ladybirths home? What did I say to you then to help you calm down?

You said that I would have to find my happy place he sighed. But that is besides the point he protested!

No its not she repremanded. The point is when you calm down you see things more clearly and if you did that now you'd see that Little One and Friend are more than capable of doing what they set out to not because they are experienced or know where they are going but because they have the will power to succeed just like you finally accepted that you would be stuck in there for a day or two till you stomach got smaller again.

As Little One and Friend walked determinedly down the road and rounded the corner. They bumped into an old friend called Melrose, mad as a hat but still a by all acounts a very good friend indeed.

Melrose! Said Friend we are in a great hurry but we cant tell you why because its very important that we dont.

Don't be mean Said Little One looking at Friend sternly!

What? asked Friend - I am only trying to protect our mission to save the rivers, the flowers and the birds. and immediately after he had said that he realized that now their mission was really no secret at all so it wouldnt harm them or their mission for Melrose to know the entire story.
Once he reached that conclusion he saw Little one was looking at him with a very befuddled expression on her face indeed.

What? He asked again? this time a little redder. Ok, he said tell Melrose everything and maybe he can join us? How does that sound Little One?

To which she immediately agreed. Melrose - she said we could use someone like you most definitely but we will have to watch the weeping willow potion. As there is only so much we have on us and it has to last the entire mission to keep the rivers flowing the rain falling, the flowers in bloom and the trees bearing fruit.

dumdumddedum....and the adventures of Little One and Friend will continue at an indefinite date.When I am feeling silly again so you probably wont have to wait that long.

Matt, Tatty and a gusty windy golf day

2006-05-22T18:18:00.000+08:00

The adventures of Little One and Friend

2006-05-19T17:26:00.000+08:00

----------------------------------------------------------------------
There once was a little Hedgehog. She would get up every morning to see the sun shine through her window, it always said hello as she smiled back. Nothing mattered when there was that little girl, she didnt care when she was a little hedgehog because the sun always was smiling through her window.

But on this particular day when she woke up and looked out her window to see the clouds hanging over the hills and fields she was sad. Her little friend came over and said hello but she could not hide her gloom, it showed through the clothing she wore, it showed in her eyes it showed in the way her head was cradled by her hands and the way her bristles didnt rattle when he walked in as they usually did.

So he asked - why so gloomy little one?

And she said - I am not little anymore, the sun does not shine through my window past the fields and hills that I can see.

And he said- dont worry little one the sun sometimes has to make way for the clouds to keep the fields green and the trees bearing fruit. It keeps the earth moist and the rivers flowing.
You would be sad if the trees were no more, you would cry for the rain then. When the flowers are gone. When the sun shines through your window again and again.
And very soon I have heard -the clouds will be no more.....

She sat up and did not cradle her head in her hands. - I wish it would rain every day - she exclaimed! I wish to keep the rivers flowing and the trees bearing fruit, I wish to keep the soil moist and the flowers in bloom.

So they walked hand in hand to the wisest oldest man in the town.Mr Monroe....
Knock, knock said the door as they tapped it with their knuckles.

Who is there? enquired Mr Monroe.

Its just us Mr Monroe, friend and little one.

Oh of course it is - Mr Monroe said. If I did not know who you were I would not be as wise and old as I am now would I?

And they laughed at his joke.

Once inside they all had tea and half moon chocolate cookies baked by Mr Monroes wife Mrs Monroe (also the oldest and wisest woman in the town, but aside from that she was also whispered to be the town gossip )

These cookies are delicious Mrs Monroe said little one, but we have come here to find out something else. We want to know how we can keep the rain falling to keep the rivers flowing and the trees bearing fruit, the soil moist and the flowers in bloom.

Yes - agreed Friend. That is what we wish to do.

Well said Mr Monroe - what an interesting question.Let me think about a good answer for a while and with that he got out his nicotine patch and stuck it on his arm.
Hmmmmm, well what got you two thinking about saving the plants and keeping the rain falling then? Personally I agree something must be done to stop the sun shining the whole bloody time.And soon too, I have skin cancer on my hands and legs from when I was a little boy - I didnt know that it was bad for me, just like smoking - he said patting the nicotine patch again lovingly.I would be in the sun all day with only factor 5 suncream on my face and none on my body at all.

At this little one and friend both gasped simultainiously. NO!- they said.

Yes its true - he sadly sighed.

But how did you become so old and wise then? asked Friend.

Good genes replied Mr Monroe.

Ahhh said Little one -does that mean we are a lost case then?

Probably not said Mr Monroe - I would imagine if we get an answer to the rain question we will probably be around for a while longer yet.

Oh where will we ever find an answer sighed Friend looking all forlorn.

Careful Friend said Little One, if you dont watch out the smile will be gone from your face hidden behind all that gloom.

Yes, she is right said Mr Monroe - not all is lost, there is still a chance to keep the rain falling and the trees bearing fruit, the flowers in bloom and the rivers flowing free.
The chance is there if anyone would take it. A chance for you and me to make a difference .
We have to take drastic steps said Mr Monroe but you have to keep quiet about all of this because the sun can hear us if we talk too loudly....gesturing with his arms and index finger. Things arent cut and dried for us hedgehogs. We have to try our hardest to keep the balance. Even now I feel the change coming but there is one thing you can do to help, - taking a deep breath he carried on. It is a little known hole down at the bottom of the drainage system down on old mine road.

Old Mine Road they both gasped out loud! But no one goes there anymore said Little One!
They dont go because of the radiation levels.

My mommie said I would die if I went down there said Friend.

Dont worry you are young and I have a special root for you to eat - it will help protect you from otherwise certain death - it comes from the weeping willow tree down by the trinkle river.
Mrs Monroe ground it especially for this purpose he leaned forward to say. Otherwise my bristles would stand on edge at the thought of either one of you being harmed. But this must be done. Otherwise it would spell the certain end of the world as we know it. I am not denying it wont be very difficult and you will have to be very brave. But I believe in both of you because you want to make a difference to keep the rain falling, the flowers blooming, the trees bearing fruit and the rivers flowing free.

What do you say? he asked to their stunned silence.

Little one and Friend looked at each other and after Little One nodding Friend addressed Mr Monroe

We will go - he said gravely. We will go to keep the rain falling, the flowers blooming, the trees bearing fruit and the river flowing free.

Mrs Monroe came in carrying two glasses made of bark and in each was a glowing blue liquid that smelt like strawberry jam.
Mr Monroe slapped his belly and said Oh you are amazing Mrs Monroe can I also have some? .

No she said firmly - you are on a diet remember and I already gave you half moon chocolate cookies today. That is much more than one serving of fat and sugar. And besides you wouldnt eat your dinner. We both know how filling weeping willow margie potion is.
At which he sat back and sighed looking all sheepish.

Drink up Little one and Friend you will need all the strength you can get.I will give you a bottle each to drink once there again. As the effects wear off within 8 hours. But careful not to drink too much as it has strong and dangerous sideeffects that I would not wish on even a mouse.

dumdumddedum....and the adventures of Little One and Friend will continue at an indefinite date.When I am feeling silly again so you probably wont have to wait that long.

random

2006-05-19T01:55:00.000+08:00

2006-05-13T02:56:00.000+08:00

Cornwall....

2006-05-13T02:39:00.000+08:00

the wind

2006-04-27T16:39:00.000+08:00

the wind blew through the trees, the leaves caressed by its flow as it made its way. Arching curling, stroking, kissing. The leaves sighed as they were stirred but left behind to hang limp yet only to be picked up again by the endless toying of the wind.

The boat is tossed and turned as a sail breaks under the pressure, like a vein in my arm pumping life blood from the heart of the storm the wind blows on.

The wind spoke to me today I heard it up above everything else. Above to clutter of life below above the noise of mundane sound. Sitting on the top of the tallest building I can see, I feel free.

The beach moved on, guided by the sea, shaped up and round the curve plain. Gusts of sea air filled up my lungs, breathing beauty, breathe life when kites fly high

2006-04-18T21:49:00.000+08:00

Dad you used to hold me upI felt so high like I was in the clouds

I used to wonder how it would feel to be so tall

as tall as you

when I looked up and you carried me on your shoulders

I remember the times you taught me to feel

the true nature of nature

it was so real

all those stories you would sit and read

Tracy and I begging for more....

we could have heard you all day but your voice would linger to my dreams

softly deep and secure carrying me

I loved your laugh,

the way you made me feel special

you would always do everything in your power to make us happy

and I know you do still

I feel so alive when I watch you and mom get on

it is like winning a beautiful dream

like feeling that nothing can go wrong

like a beautiful flower

so open and trusting

you've always been so strong

and life has gone so wrong

but its not the end, never the end

because there is always tomorrow

always another way I should remember and smile

because you're dear to me

and you're my dad

I could never have ever had any other dad quite so amazing as you

I'll always be your daughter and Ill always remember what we have.

About time!!!

2006-04-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

these photos were taken with a microscope, and are of a little swiss watch ( as I am sure you can tell...)it is unfortunate that I didnt really think about rotating the one....but then again I didnt have enough time. And I was sure that you would understand.

then there was a post....

2006-04-12T19:26:00.000+08:00

time a double edged sword

chasing catching waiting

all my days spent running around

all of my weeks spent

all my months

my years waiting

do you feel

and I know

and we'll grow

and there will always be a hand to hold

days like piano keys waiting to be played

hours of sky, hours of talks, hours of sun,

the way the wind blows

I painted my room, but the colour is washed out

sorry sorry I'm so sorry for the walls

the day that I came home

sorry for the colour

its so sad

I came in today

that washed out paint doesnt want to wash out my clothes

its in my hair

on my watch

on my glasses

on my jeans

on my top

on the carpet

on the apple I just ate

and I'm so sorry

so sorry for the colour

the memory wont fade either

2006-03-26T19:22:00.000+08:00

DIFFERENT PEOPLE DIFFERENT COLOURS DIFFERENT LAYERS DIFFERENT LIVES
DIFFERENT SKY DIFFERENT WAY DIFFERENT MIND DIFFERENT PLACE

It was perfect, perfect!

2006-03-19T04:32:00.000+08:00

And then I had to switch off the computer by mistake with my foot....Silly me...

So lets see if I remember the poem again...

trees scream
stretched branches
screaching against windows
as they line the street
naked winter air
....no thats not how it went...but anyway
erm....
barking shadows
loudly sway
they tap tap tap
but dont go away
this winter storm
this cool calm day
this sky bird frame
changes from day to day
but now as I stare at the frozen stark lines
of the trees as they wait, planted
as we all breathe forward to spring
the sun round again, but hidden for now

this is really a whole new poem with lines grafted to this... Yes, I know whether you believe me or not.

This is a poem I put on Icarus's site...but I like it so I' thought I'd add it to mine as well....

2006-03-15T02:08:00.000+08:00

theres traffic outside...

the cars drive by they keep moving on

the tires roll round

but no one ever stops

what does it do

to sit here and stare

pretend to not care

pretend to not see

what its doing to me

what its doing to you

when we just sit and stare

pretending not to care

about the things people do

although like me and you

living different lies

but with the same old lines

the wheels on the bus just go round and round again

My Dad says you should just get on the bus...so theres a solution!

And now here is another....from a while back...found it in my fogotten purple scrap book

Little red buses

double decked fun

they travel up

they travel down

stopping to keep the tide

swept faces on and off and to their lives

Little red buses

turn a corner

round a bend

just so I dont have to walk

when its raining

buy my ticket

get that single

or if I'm clever a day pass

Little red buses with their drivers

very good at turning corners

very good at nodding heads

very good at being kind

granted you have a ticket mind!

2006-03-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

these are just some photos left over from the other day that I quite liked...so I decided to post them now...

2006-03-11T00:58:00.000+08:00

I rember the first song I wrote when I was about 7 it went something like this...

Theres a hole in my shoe and I dont know what to do
I'm sitting here and its getting late
where are you friend? And how come you're gone
when theres a hole in my shoe and I cant find you.

And now on a similar note I found a poem that I wrote the other day and it reminded me of how depressed I could be but the funny thing is, when I write these things I'm not down at the time it seems to come from a place where I've been but only remember....

Pressed hands
cradled head
this headache wont go away
it seems stuck to my brain
it is hurting me
held hidden pain
closed curtains
simmering darkness
time travelled but lost
time breathed but dead
my head, oh, my head
pounding silence
stirs the agony
hurtful noise glows around me
sticky pain lodged to me
clogging me, mocking me
and I turn yet again
but still it wont go away
and I turn yet again
where to?
but curtained time

liquid life.

2006-03-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

floating dream
wanders down
the water river
flowing free
lapping ripples
tell their tale
against a surface
reflecting my gaze
liquid sound
drifts into
the air around me
as the day dies down
and the light softly touches
what the suns left behind

Glass stained
lived through days
too vibrant
that distant glow
untouchable the heavenly light
plays across the walls
held by time
with story lines
in colours that rhyme
with pictures framed
that live through days
time held story lives today.

it was a very london day

2006-03-04T09:02:00.000+08:00

Storm!

2006-03-01T11:05:00.000+08:00

I spy with my little eye...a bright idea

2006-02-28T21:33:00.000+08:00

2006-02-21T07:10:00.000+08:00

The trees russle and sway as the river makes a way through a city filled with people on this cold winters day.
The world sheltered through curtainfall, the light etching patterns that softly fall, when the sun shines through the gray of dawn...yawning daydreams come to me.

valentine

2006-02-21T06:53:00.000+08:00

oops! erm/^

hard hitting
gorgeous beauty
soft work
pushover smile
blindly obvious
radiant glow
turns a corner
and there it goes
turning heads every way
skirting normal, always special
always fitting
lovely glider
she can make you
catch her eye

2006-02-12T02:33:00.000+08:00

London today... the sky looked like it would fall tossing the dry ground away in favor of the the cloud air rain. The mist is actually my resiratory filter. (condensation from my breath) . There are so many different things that you can use as a filter...from sweet wrappers off eaten chocolates( my favorite being quality street purple cellophane)to vaseline...(never tried that though...) etc

Ok...here goes...Backstreets play hide and seek...The buildings standing together against the cobbled streets as they wind through the maze of dirt and memories...You're still here, when I pass, everyday the same with another sky framed. You're still here, when the crowds go away, everyone skattered, they dont remain.

between the pages - Mossel Bay

2006-02-07T02:43:00.000+08:00

A boy at the post office on Marsh St Mossel Bay

The red light on the harbour wall of Mossel Bay

The tide pool at the point of Mossel Bay
The point of Mossel Bay

I had a book once that worn and raged on the outside did nothing to show for the pages beneath that smooth red tattered exterior. When I turned the pages a whole world came alive to me, characters, people places, stories.... I could loose myself to whole years of existence in a single day...Locked away in my room with just the noise of pages turned, with just the sound of my heart beating, with just the rustle of the curtains fluttering in the wind. But I wasn't there in that room, I was out the window carried far above the world that I knew, to the world between the pages.
Sometimes, somehow I recognise pages from my book as I walk through days...and I smile because I remember....
My world between the pages.

2006-02-05T05:13:00.000+08:00

Consumed dream I dreamt

the field I walked and gave a hour

with lines of stem and flowers passed

ancient bird song floating through the sounds

sweet soft music

conscious ears of grass

the river floated down reflecting the sky

reflecting the trees that hung over

stirring leaves through

the current carried on my thoughts

further and further down

till the end unknown nearly drowned

and I sat down to my waiting imagination

to the beauty of the moment

captured by a thousand different endings

streamline, treebreath, skywind, birdspeak and layeredfield

all waiting

waiting for me now.

2006-02-02T13:34:00.000+08:00

This is Sophie...she has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. And a personality to match.... Being the oldest of five she reminds me of my sister...Actually all my girlfriends in Mossel Bay are the oldest of their brothers and sisters.
My sister in Knysna...when we went to storms river. I remember staying in this Lapa and there being no tv or radio and having only brought one of my psychology books to read...having nothing to eat by a bar of chocolate. We didn't really plan that well... But the sound of the sea just outside was amazing...oh, and it rained nearly the whole time we were there.
The red light and harbor wall from across the bay...at Diaz beach.
This is part of the redlight at the end of the harbor wall... I loved to go there and sit for hours, the sea breeze and the town behind, perched up above everything. I always imagined how I would survive if it had to be blown over by a tidal wave...If the redlight would be blown off the wall by the might of it and my body carried along with the wave or stay strong on the wall with me clinging to one of the bars for dear life. Nothing ever happened though.
The brilliant little groms, they gave the big boys a run for their money, but it was always a fight between the two groups over the best waves...The older surfers wanting the sets to themselves and respect because of their age....but it was all in good humor, I hope.this is of Saun, hes got quite a few sponsors for his surfing and could easily go pro.
Indi! A character but really good at airs like the one you see here, he's already a heart breaker, all the little girls in Mossel Bay love him, even Sophie my friend has mentioned a few times to me that she's going to marry him when he grows up...such a sweetiepie...He's also sponsored I think by Billabong....not sure.
A dreary day in Mossel Bay.
In the distance you can see the mountains of George, and then the little fishing boat going out to catch some fish.
Raoul, a good surfer...Excuse the lopsidedness I was too focused on getting my timing right I totally forgot about my horizon.
The back of a surf board shop in Mossel Bay
Another photo of Saun.....

I know you by heart
etched in summer days
whispering words
I found your smile on the back of a card
I heard your laugh too
telling tales of times gone by
painted stories as the sky rolled by
because I know you by heart

Taren, Taren, Taren!!!

2006-02-01T17:12:00.000+08:00

Taren one of my best friends in Mossel Bay... even quieter than I can be.... I think I took these photos about two years ago... I really don't remember, but Taren was kind enough to pose for me at what used to be my sisters and my flat and at the point. It was the middle of summer, I know that much and after we went for a few coffees %) Tarens one of the Cape St Blaizers, my school friends, we've planned all meet again in 2011, the 11th November, at 11am in front of the 7/11 opposite the school, hopefully ....But I will probably see all of them before then too...Don't think I could wait that long. You know actually all/most of the girls in Mossel Bay are beautiful, in their own way. I know all my friends are.
... Taren was the one who put up with me being crazy the most, I remember the time we swam in the rain, I don't think there was ever a day just like that one.
This was taken on the balcony, overlooking the harbor...Well you would be able to see the harbor.....But obviously I had a very good reason for all those little round circles and looped lines
Die Point...Just next to our favorite coffee hideout, Delfinos....The best, absolute best coffee anywhere.

sitting in a corner of the corner cafe
with coffee smells
and crowds that dwell in their own world
Coffee girl with your sunshine eyes
The light you are don't try and hide
You're beautiful Taren
A flower bloomed
Imagine there's a day
dream with me
a life we see
dream with me about the life it could be
floor boards chorus as I walk over days of just
talk
the boat we're on floats
on the swimming sea
as the trees breathe and sway
when moving air my way
while birds chat the day away
and we sing
la lala la
where you don't have to try and hide
Imagine a place where you can be yourself
Imagine today, it isn't too hard
You'll see, you'll see
that life is what you make of it
endless hours of talking and dreams
sea breeze flows into conversation
coffee refills, cake crumbs
white seats, crowded sounds

my hands and cell phone(mobile?) don't you just love scanners!

2006-01-31T12:19:00.000+08:00

Oh dear...somebody stop me. This is even more addictive than photoshop...This scan is of an alarm clock and my teething beads from Sodwana. When I went diving there with Sophie I bartered with a lady to buy them for R20 if I remember correctly. They actually work. I know this because I've tried them and a lady I met at the Jo-burg air port laughed at me for wearing them, where they were also on sale for R150...
My cell phone and if you look closely you'll see a bit of my wrist and two fingertips...Its supposed to be a lady of the lake inspired swordlike cell phone effect.... actually, to be honest I only just thought of that now.

2006-01-27T13:33:00.000+08:00

I stared down into the well...the black echoing further and further down. All around me the sun screamed, glaring at the desert, her reply just a indignant indifference. The desert mesmerized by the sun like a snake charmed with no life but the sway and chant of a rippled wind. Dead, there was no future beyond the toying of the charmer. The landscape repeated itself over and over again, a monontonous maze.The grains of sand sadly insignificantly nothing filtered as they were through my fingers but becoming everything when I looked up and round for miles and miles. I felt the salt crysallised on my forehead by the teasing wind lapping at me, draining me, milking me for water. I felt drained and dry...dry like a crust of old bread, just the shell. My body a trap that I had fallen into and now my mind clawing at the dry walls of the well trying to get away... The silence mocking, laughing, taunting, maddeningly real.
Would I ever get away from this mare of sand rearing its unfogiving head void of life.It petrified me, but so did not facing it.
As I lay there the sky turning circles above me, the whole world in sky swept past. When the time came for the change the sun made a grand exit by tipping her orb in the atmosphere of dirty pinks, blues, oranges, purples scattered and highlighted around the magnificent dome that was her light.

The dark, not in all ways unlike the light, but at least the stars sang, they sang as they twirled above the flat hollow land, the perfect frame of space. I didn't know the sky until I lay in the desert that night. My eyes frozen staring up at the universe reflected there.

The sun and moon keepers of the tide of sand, the took their turns shaping the landscape....The stars and the sky watched as this took place. The wind a messenger, the clouds a legend to the swelling river of sand.

heart beat

2006-01-25T09:04:00.000+08:00

Heart beat echoing off the walls...
down the passage
a chamber of tales

double beat soft and slow
echoing love
echoing the past

heart beat resounding drum
drumming life
drumming hope

heart beat
faster racing
in my head
I hear it resound

heart beat its reverberated cry
from within
staying alive

heart beat
heart beat
heart beat
again and again
heart beat
never stop the drums in my ears

2006-01-22T03:52:00.000+08:00

someone told me of painted days....Watercolors splashed across created life. Of emerald green, lavender grey, sunflower yellow or center sky blue. The green in different shades of light...Filtered through dappled hues in its vibrant exploding organic breathing beauty.
The grey like the colour I looked outside my window to see today. The colour of eyes mesmerizingly soft and sad...like my grandfathers when he looked at me and smiled.
The yellow, they said, like a dress I wore and felt alive. The light warm, bright happiness of yellow never makes me tired. The blue like a place I go and hide, a liquid haven of distorted time...A middle world neither dead or alive. Days in different shades painted in watered colour.

I'm back...

2006-01-18T01:34:00.000+08:00

I wrote a poem and put it somewhere, now i cant remember the words to describle where I put it...or rather I cant find the words I put on paper when I dropped it...or where the paper with words could be spotted....or how come I lost it? But when I find the words to say what I mean, life will be but like a dream, when I find the will to say just what it is I may just to be, to see, to grow, to know, to write, to draw from lifes adventures.

And you missed me?

The night sea

2005-12-18T21:40:00.000+08:00

I stood on the shore and it was raining like it had been the day before...Sheets of rain pelting the earth soft sand. Flicking it up onto my feet as they bare dug deeper into the soaked beach...
Wet from tip to toe I was cold from the wind,too cold to do anything but shiver uncontrollably. My hair clung to my face and neck in desperation as I surveyed the beautiful storm playing out in front of me.I had the best seat in the house for the spectacular show of nature.

I don't know how long I stood there, waiting but never wanting it to end...The silence was deafening to my ears a painful still that haunted me, enticing me into the sea as it lapped up and down. Waiting,with all the time in the world...Forwards creeping up the shore line...Further and further only stopping at the hight water mark.

I stepped into the crest of the first wave and jumped over the second, the water a warm shelter from the breeze...I dived under the third wave and swam counting to ten strokes under the water till I came up for air.
Each stroke more difficult than the last, leaving me feeling dazed and all my muscles aching as oxygen pumped through them again...I looked at the harbor wall about 300m from me to the east and kept swimming to the buoys that I thought were nets the first time I swam to them with my cousin Melch...I think we both got a fright as we had been edging eachother on with shark stories and how Mossel Bay is known for its Great Whites...I remember not swimming fast enough to get back to the shore...Imagined evil luring under my frantic kicking legs and stressed lungs. I saw pictures of sharks coming right into the white shallow water to catch prey...That horrible helpless feeling as the ebbing water washes back a different colour.

But now as I swam on my own in the fading light of dusk I felt only a tingle of excitement at the unknown beneath me...Scuba diving couldn't really help an irrational fear in my mind as you realize just what is under you...And sometimes it can be worse than you imagined. Some fish I find scary...esp the little ones that try and bite your fingers off when you're only trying to be friendly....Granted I do sometimes entice them by rubbing my thumb on my index finger my other fingers curled as if I have something. But other times I don't do anything at all and they start on me all over...Ears, face, hands, my ankles. Everywhere they can.

I was swimming up and down parallel to the shore line along the line of buoys pacing, waiting as if for something but nothing in particular. The cool clear dusk air sweeping across the ocean towards me. When I heard a car pull into the parking lot above the beach stretched out on either side of it...I tred water looking to see who it was, but the sun was setting as I looked into the lowered fading light making it almost impossible for me to tell who it was. I knew they could see me clearly and that bothered me more than the thought of sharks circling below me on the expressionless ocean sand flung this way and that by the surge of the tide.But no need the voice calling me was familiar...

2005-12-18T07:43:00.000+08:00

Does it ever end
that feeling that I cant comprehend
does it ever go away
when I loose my heart to a day
does it ever make sense
when I bare my soul to a friend?
Can I go on like this
being so fragile and blind?
oblivious of sense
oblivious of time
oblivious of love
oblivious to know
Can I ever be whole
or will I always go on searching
finding, growing, knowing ...
growing some more to
knowing that I will always change
but never become complete
and when you said you could never understand
you weren't talking to me
but to that voice inside yourself
oblivious of sense
oblivious of time
oblivious of love
oblivious to know

2005-12-16T23:04:00.000+08:00

Bright christmas lights
greeting cards gold
green and red
tear drops
happy days
crisp and clear
drunk thoughs
optical illusions
carry through
frozen time

2005-12-14T13:06:00.000+08:00

I had to say
I had to know
I had to feel
I had to grow

I miss those looks you gave
I miss that song we sang
I miss the warmth we shared
I miss having you here

I had to give
I had to take
I had to be
I had to love

I miss the way you said my name
I miss you made me sane
I miss the jokes that made me laugh
I miss having you around

I had to show
I could, you know?
I had to pretend
I had to go

I miss those talks
I miss the walks
I miss the time
I miss the fun
I miss you
I miss us

2005-12-10T19:08:00.000+08:00

The sound of pots on the fires and babies crying, chickens contributing their bit to the racket too.
Opening the bag of maize the measured out three cups worth and stirred it into the water boiling with salt.
By the fire she squatted patiently and made herself tea black with no sugar. Finally opening a tin of pilchards ,she ate in silence.
The little familiar pitter patter signaled to her, her precious parcel was wide awake. Now her day really started.
Scooping up the last remains of the memory of her breakfast she licked her fingers and sighed.
Arms wide stretched and hungry Hope engulfed her with her tiny arms, ÂSuch a big hug for Mommie, Hope you give the best hugs ,you know?Â
Sucking on her expectant breast she watched the happy form, eyes content nested in her mothers folds of love.
Sometimes she reminded Patience of her Husband Happy. Little things like the arch of her eyebrows when she was tired, the sound of her breathing when she slept, the way she looked when she laughedÂJust a replica of her father, but only the best bits.
He would be proud of this little bundle of joy, that comforted her.

Happy had worked on Sheba Mine .They had met at her cousins wedding, she had seen hope in him like a bright light that had rendered her deaf to the council of her mothers intuition. How could she have known, she had to follow this path, how could she not? She would never have taken anything back if she had the choice. There was Hope to live for now and life couldnÂt be imagined any other way.
Their life had been a dream like one long spring for the first year but she had struggled to conceive .No flower bloomed within her, her mother had told her what a gift she had been coming with the summer rain. And to be patient like she had been. Now she waited for her gift expectantly, always hoping.
But Happy grew tired and she grew desperate to prove something ,she did not know. That she was worthy to be a mother somehow and that God would show her grace.

Where have you been my Happy? The fire grows cold for me. I could be a good wife if you gave me your love.She sighed turning away to gather more wood to fire the blaze. She wanted it big, big enough to swallow her shame, warm enough so she never needed him again, if she was a better wife, if she had a child , if, if, if only. Happy just sat there neither denying or getting angry. Finally after a long drawn out silence punctuated by her muffled sobs, he said. I do not know anymore, I donÂt feel any more,I had a dream I fell too far, going down a little big deeper every day till at last the darkness and heat over whelmed my sense of light. You blinded me like a sun sky after a long night. I have been hiding, hiding from you in the dark and now itÂs too late. I will never see again.I donÂt see you any more..its so dark.The walls taunt me,closing in until I feel the life in me go out swallowed by doubt.

Two years passed and still no sign of the beautiful swell that should be inside her. Still she made the track down the mountain to work the fields.
She gathered wood and gossiped with the other woman who like herself worked in the valley ,walking down early before the sun showed its face and up after they had finished in the late afternoon.
Happy worked during the week and lived in a hostel for the workers on the mine, he only came home weekends. Sometimes she didnÂt see him for two weeks running.

Rumors started coming to her like flies on a hot day , swishing them away she tried to block the thought of Happy being unfaithful to her.
Oh, but you should have known the mine boys like to playÂ Happy just couldnÂt stay away.The girls so free they float from man to man like bees on flowers and carry off their prize. Beware of the sting, beware of the lies.
A voice inside echoed the suspicions of her friends, she fed on it and it grew so big it became true.
Now Happy was becoming sick often and always seemed to be home, he was getting very thin and gaunt ,turning into a little feeble old man. She worried now more than ever because now she was eating for two. Her belly happy to be stretched and contained her pride. She resented him like no wife should, his illness eating into their savings. But for thatÂ

She loved him in her way trying to forget the man who took her heart giving it away hurt her more than words could ever tellÂTo be honest she didnÂt know what to do, here a man with needs, here her heart with hurt to feel.
In the end it could be said that her love for him did not sin, she cared like he did not deserve. She could not turn from her loves heart beat.

Can you feel my love? Can you hear it in our ears? Its here, here inside me, can you see?
Can you feel lifeÂs kick, its struggles, struggles to be free, for me ,my love for me. I need this to, this life so new, can you feel hope, my love? Not in us anymore but in me? The gift you gave, cannot be repaid. I carry my love still. Not for us anymore but for me. My girl to be.

Happy lay there with flies drinking the sadwater from his hollow eyes, sores laced his skin like craters bombed raw. I would if I could take it back, I would if I could have kept your heart . Please believe my Love. Please believe in me!Exhausted with shame, his body a cage, his soul a slave. A slave to the past and what he could not undo.
Please believe,he whispered aching with desire.

Time IÂve felt it tells it steals
Time I know has gone will come
The day the hour this IÂve lived
By the year I appear
Trapped in age
Its binding power
Everlast not, this I know
For life today
And grave tomorrow

She sat there in the dark a shadow framed by fire. I do, my Love, I believe in hope. She held his hand the skeleton it was, and wept for her sense of loss.

But it was too late for fairy tails and everafters. No airbrushed lie or blurry illusion only the stark truth of life. She could not go back to the naive girl she once was, back to the fields of youth. Her harvest had come in, the ground worse for wear. Barren now with no more seed to sow. Mother, she cried. hold me from this lie IÂve lived, keep me from the pain.
Only please, never say I told you so.

Her mother, wise from many moons held her close and pored heardew from the pools of her eyes.
My child, my child
You are my hope
You are for me a dream
sweeping back the sands of time
My dreams out numbered the stars
like sparks of light they were
a dessert rose waiting to be plucked you were for me
and now you are my sunshine

From the ash of the past an abandoned seed grew tall, carried on the cycle of life and on its will to live.

That night the rain flowed free, it ran the mountain paths, not stopping for breath it seeped down, gushing with joy. To the valley in the mountain, to Love and Peace Street.
Whips of lightening slashing the darkness, like drums thunder beat the African sky. The clouds moved on, their shadow gone forever from her heart.
No tormenting rocks, just pebbles caressed the rain now. The storm over, the ground fill.

A cry of joy rang out the ground, a cry of love that once was lost. Ash from the past ,now this new life, with trembling green fingers she held up her prize. PatienceÂs long wait all but forgotten. She was worthy of this tiny being, a mother she swore she would always be nothing to take this love away.
The clouds moved on, no veil for this happy face. Indeed Hope, her sunshine cast the dark out of life banishing them never to come back. Her dream child was finally home.

Weeds grew strong knots over the grave of the forgotten, Happy would never know the brown eyed wonder girl, her laughter a kiss of immortal joy.

2005-12-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

only in dreams
it seems
that days are so alive
the sun breaks the sky
smiling wide
and sets in time
but to pass a day
my dreams still
don't go away
it must be
they are here to stay
broken time
swept imagined thoughts
they bunch together
huddled on the floor
waiting there
till I open the door
and the wind blows them in
and scattered to
their cobweb homes
along with new thoughts brought under my shoes
but I always find them
I also mind them
they grow so big into hair balls...
that those thoughts could kill me
but I don't care to spring clean
perhaps another day

2005-12-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

close your eyes to hear
their wings sing
hear those notes dip
to play the light
drifting day dream
dawning beauty
a tale of life
this world of change
the butterflies
the butterflies

2005-12-06T15:29:00.000+08:00

2005-12-06T13:41:00.000+08:00

Life a dream, can you see in me?

Days a play that I write for

Months to pass, time a laugh

hours, minutes, seconds

race, pace, memory's

the going gone

time to tell on

months to be free

years to change to

days to grow in

to grow into me

with the wrong lines I'm tired all the time

tired of the game

tired of my lame excuses

tired to be the same

tired of time

time to get on

time to feel strong

time to be me

time to see change

change a way to be

change the view

change the lines

change myself

what I've got you wont ever have

what I have is who I am

the me you see

the life I've lived

the me you see

a game of time

the train ride in was unremarkable, I got on at the train station in Sandhurst, I didn't have a ticket as I would have to get one on the train. On to Guilford off at platform 8 and onto platform 6 to catch the early train into London. I wait there for about an hour, as the trains never come conveniently timed. Although sometimes I must say I have been lucky, but as a young traveller I cannot rely on luck as that has never been a cheap commodity that I could say I posses. On the contrary I have been taught by experience that what I have is never certain. Curve balls a reality, wrinkle free live just one of my little fantasies. Sometimes I get weak and wish for life to be a certaintly, to give up the chance to fly with the possibilitys but then I think that life is just about the possible. But the future can be so hazy and distant, an unknown scare.

2005-12-04T03:38:00.000+08:00

creepy crawly busy bugs, out on my blog.

2005-12-03T08:29:00.000+08:00

My sister had played the piano for the assembly service that morning while I watched with my friends in the sea of sitting faces...She was very moral and self righteous for a young person her age. She would choose to sit outside the class room when the teachers would put Maguyver or ninjaturtles on. She was the type of ten year old who would create bookclubs where there weren't any and would shine her media badge religiously everymorning before she went with her perfectly packed suitcase to school. She was also the top of her class with every subject and had a certain regal way of walking with her thick glasses and that skinny frame that made people take notice. - the teachers would feel this sort of warm glow and fellow pupils would think malicious thoughts of chucking their soggy jam sandwiches at her.But she did have friends...they all came from the top table and would use big words and write secret letters to eachother with lemon juice so that the letter could only be deciphered once burned(this being technology way beyond my scope- glitter pens were my attempt at being special) and she was queen of all of them. They had their own flag, badges and oaths.

Me - on the other hand, I was a lot more relaxed with my approach to school and school work in general. To be honest I just didn't care, anyway it( schoolwork, music theory) was always done by my mom or sister so either way I didn't have to worry.I could always take anything I was having a problem dealing with to them and with a few pathetic sounds I would have them convinced I couldn't do it without them. I liked to drop my sisters name at the beginning of the the year with a new teacher I knew she had been taught by and watch as she mistakenly thought I would be the new star pupil. Only to be very disappointed after a day had gone by. I did that just for the admiring looks I got and the little introduction.
Everyone this is Wendy, her sister is a very good student and the star of the school. Hopefully she will be too. At which I would stand and smile serenely. Thinking - you wish.

How is Tracy by the way? I still miss her.She would then ask.At which I would make some satisfactory mono syllable reply.

A teacher came up to me that I didn't recognize one from another standard probably and started congratulate me on how well I had played for the assembly that morning...I thought it unwise to interrupt her( as she seemed so convinced). And didn't want to make her embarrassed so I said thankyou meaning to pass the compliment on to my sister. I did tell my sister but she didn't take the compliment as well as I had thought she would. But that was how it always was, people thinking I was her all the time. In a way I probably did her a favor - its hard to handle gushing teachers - something I knew I did very well. You had to make them think you were an angel. %)

I liked to play and breaks were a time when I was in my element, then I could just sit in the sun and tease my friends. I never got a hiding in school, though I did come close in Grade One.

Miss Buckle had told us she was leaving the class for a few moments and that no one should go to the door as, if we did there would be BIG trouble when she got back with Janbrunt( wooden spoon). So as the rest of the class group huddled at the other far end of the class by what seemed then great windows. A small party of 6year olds decided to make for the door just to look out and see just what it was we weren't supposed to. Now in Barberton Primary the boys wore grey and the girls navy blue and all the other grade one year olds that came with me to the door were wearing grey. Making me the only one in blue.
When Miss Buckle came back eventually after what seemed half of all our lives combined. And walked to her desk at the top of the class with a very hurt but resigned look on her face.
She said....What did I tell you not to do? Trying convincingly to look stern. And scary and intimidating.

Class chorus - Not go to the door Miss Buckle

What did I say would happen if you went to the door?

You and Janbrunt ( Wooden spoon)would come back Miss Buckllllle and there would be big trouble - minus one or two not so bright six year olds

Did anybody see who went to the door while I was away?

No Miss Bucklllllle

I am counting to ten and then you are all staying in for break.And thats final.

One

Two....

Three......

As the fate of the whole class hung in the balance two or three of the brave and gallant boys came forward and confessed to her, more coming forward till I was the only person who had been at the door and now wasn't at the front of the classroom.
I sat there in that classroom and for the first time wished I could become invisible. Trying to unnoticed, blend in with my chair but knowing not to push my luck. I knew I would just have to act as natural as possible even though my little heart was beating like a sun bird's. I knew that everyone knew that I had been at the door. And I didn't want to think about what it would be like to get a hiding from Miss Buckle and JanBrunt( the wooden spoon). But it was all I could think about.

JanBrunt

JanBrunt, JanBrunt, JanBrunt....Like a slide show over and over.

Is there anyone else who hasn't come forward? Miss Buckle enquired...
I recall seeing a bit of blue with the grey.

At which Susan( still don't really like her) suddenly piped up turning to look at me...Didn't you go too Wendy?As she smiled sweetly.
I felt my head involuntarily shaking and my lips saying...NO, no I didn't. Convincing myself of my innocence.I wanted to believe it so much in that moment too.

Before I could think I had told my first big lie. Immediately I was filled with this deep sense of remorse but I was gone...Taken by the flood I had created and there was no turning back.
And I watched, I watched as all the boys in turn cried out in pain as their hands were smacked...But I suffered more sitting there in my little chair nursing my growing secret.

Years later I saw Miss Buckle walking across the street and I thought to go and tell her about what had really happened and how it had been bothering me all this time but I didn't.

So Miss Buckle...If you're reading this. I'm sorry and I promise I wont do it again.

And please know that I always think of you when I wear blue.

2005-12-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

the power to feel
the will to see
the hope of sound
the thirst of more

2005-11-30T07:01:00.000+08:00

I feel the cold wind blowing from the north, that cold, cold place that stretches further than my dreams. Climbing out the bed- I stare out the window to the trees outside, they're cold too.
The sky a blanket of color, those alternating greys and whites. My breath showes on the window - a small circle of condensation that I write on. I write a heart.

I stare out at the storm building now.That chaos that will sweep past and spill on me.
Where do I hide? Reeling mind with things I see, the world a winter storm.
Days to carry me
on with life
on to life
on to be
on to see
I could be anything I want to be
but for that which holds back

2005-11-25T04:57:00.000+08:00

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

2005-11-24T07:57:00.000+08:00

This is off the first spool of film I took. Of my sister and my mom...%)

My first ever water colour since pre-school done sitting in Port Elizabeth...No, I was actually thinking about Mossel Bay...don't like P.E.lol, too windy.

That sketch of my mom, it was actually done on the back inside of a Beatrix Potter book...had to rip it out%) and that was when I was 9. I don't understand... now I can only paint.
Mom,Tracy, my dad ( as a baby), grandfather( on the horse) and me.

Me-too small for my dads boots...

A day of bright ideas...thanks to a fellow blogger, thanks Emi! Great stuff! My mind a mirror of freedom.

2005-11-24T01:13:00.000+08:00

lalala

2005-11-23T08:42:00.000+08:00

green bugs, biological models....that and more!

2005-11-21T11:58:00.000+08:00

Ahhh, dear, oh dear...ok, well something interesting and amusing for a change please-

News up date....My cell phone/mobile got lost/stolen.lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moon tilts its head to gaze at the earth

as the sun spins her round of the planets

but who will win the blue earths favor....

the moon beams, I am closer

but no, says the sun, I have staying energy- I keep life

the moon wisely says I will bow to the revelation of your light!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnificent blue
yes it's true
the sea for me
sparkling diamond
bursting seams
summer dreams
fill me up
crowds unplugged
winter come
hum drum numb
tide turned round
it settles down
cars away
they cannot stay
the town on a diet please!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December, my time
it could be summer
it could be spring
but yet here I sit shivering
and wondering
why me?

why not...
just hop on that plane
or hoist that sail
could swim the channel
to flee the island
go feel the rain
perhaps in Spain
ahhh....

round and round
everythings round
the sun and the moon
year in and year out
tomorrows and yesterdays all over again
so why don't I just choose summer
and why don't I just see blue
the sun and the sea and there's me all brown...

my fingers are cold!

sad lines etched in place
on an old empty face
hmm what care served them well?
did it matter?
all those bothers?
were they worth your pretty smile?
what's it like living gloom?
is it like feeling blue?
I think I'll write a pick up line
would that now win your smile?

The place we go to draw the line

to start with...
what is life?
the days
the field I grow
the ways
the life I know
the maze
my journey shows
on me
I could be
for you
but then
who knows
and such is life
a toast to her unknown
my life a book of days
who knows
you might have a chapter

did you ever dream a dream
where reality unseen
just around the corner
comes true
just for you
yes they say
it happened
true
on a day like today
I woke up to see a dream in me
I woke up to my new life
I woke up to my dream

2005-11-13T06:37:00.000+08:00

The difference a year can make people....Me now and me then...I am going to be sooo hot when I'm 40!Just like my mom. lol

Hmmmm, what to write-I feel like I should be all deep and meaningful and capture my thoughts so eloquently as to splash the expensive words out...Yes-oh, to break the bank of words...If only-except I seem to have forgotten my pin number somewhere-did I tell you about my wonderful week? No?

Hmmm, where to start-I'll start with me leaving my purse on the bus...Yes this all at my expense-I assure you. It's a good laugh-a cheap one on me.

Well...

Ok, where was I?-just leaving the bus...
So I leave my purse and spend a very happy sunny bright cold, crisp, coke advert like, gift wrapped, delectable, insatiable, describable day. Oblivious of the absence of that one very important thing without which I really have my hands tied - it being the closest thing to a prison cell when you're free...So I have to go to the bank and tell them that some very, dear, sweet, kind, fantastic, police detective officer person cancelled all my cards...Without which I will have to produce some form of ID whenever I want my money.

And so because I want my money there and then I go to the bank-but on this, another day the wind is everywhere open doors would allow, and seeps into my coat trying to say hello to my frozen, tortured, goose bumped,blue and purple splashed, uninterestingly cold skin. Granted I do understand that it is supposed to be Winter but tell that to my body.

Walking across the road there is a old indian lady sporting a cane to ease her limp who gets to the bank door the same time as me, so I signal for her to go first. Feeling very proud of myself I go in after her.I sigh and enjoy the warm inside of the bank like a little penguin inside it's daddy penguin when the mother goes on vacation to the sea. I get all warm and fuzzy thinking happy thoughts about how I beat the cruel and cold wind outside when I start getting very warm. Too warm now. So warm that my nose goes red.

I produce my drivers license and walk out a very happy bunny to my lessons for the day-only to get a phone call from my mom...( she goes red-the whole face but with a particular amount more on the cheeks it must be said)....

Pooks?

Mom!

Um, sweetie...I got a call from someone who said that she has your drivers license?

Uh, no as far as I know I haven't lost it, it's in my bag...(going pale)Oh.

Yes, well they say it's at a bank that you went to earlier? Someone found it outside on the pavement.They say you have to go pick it up today-but I'm not sure about when the bank closes so try and get there before three, ok?Think you can do that?

Thanks mom-I can take....Yes I'll do that.

Ok, Pookie, mummies very worried about you my girl, I want you to start thinking and to grow up.This absent mindedness must stop, I do realize that you are creative. But Mom's not going to be around forever and these things can't go on happening...I mean just last week there was that thing with the bus...

Uhhhh, Mom um, gotta go...

And that time when you forgot your mobile on the counter of the garage shop...

I, well...it(sigh) so....I think you mean that time it might have been stolen...

No, my angel you told me that you left it there...

Well I cant really remember that well but it might also have been stolen...And anyway I remember that one time you left your keys in the post box and that other time you left your wallet on top of the car as you drove away from the petrol station...

...Just promise me that you will take better care of your self. You're very precious to me, my Skatterbol, mommy doesn't ever want to loose you, my Pooks. No matter what you do just remember that you can always tell me...Are you doing drugs? Don't worry-I don't mind if you smoke-just tell me.
I love you so much.

I KNOW...MMMOM! And I cant help that I'm dyslexic and everything.It's just that I don't feel like you even know me!!! Drugs?!?!

And so the curtain closes on the fading picture of two silhouettes on either side of the line talking or rather having a discussion till the issue is perfectly round.So round in fact that anyone looking in could mistake it for the moon.

%)

2005-11-08T08:01:00.000+08:00

The rain softly washed to water down the road ,round the bend and on to the ground.
the side of the path
She looked up at the sky and felt it fall,
she looked up at the rain and was so small
she looked up
she looked up
and it stopped on her face
to touch down her cheeks and to the grass
washing,washing away

mother
true and real
always there
always to feel
you always knew the lines
the ones that make everything fine
you always knew my thoughts
the ones that I would rather hide
you always knew what to do
when I didn't have the will

Mother
on the days that I cried
you were always by my side
on the days that I loved
you always held my trust
and all those things that I tried to hide
I would tell you
you knew anyway

mother
when I'm old and grey
I will always remember
what you had to say
your words
I wish I could bottle
and keep
because they are so special
and very dear to me
Everyone a priceless gift
that pearl of wisdom that I can only hope to absorb

Mother
never let me be
I need you still
I need you for me
I need you for you
your lectures
your talks
your notes
your thoughts
your poems
your hugs
your smiles
your calls
your food
your time
your love
your perfection
your patience
your grace
your style
your protection
your understanding
your beauty
your unselfishness
you're everything
you're you.
my sunshine

2005-11-05T04:49:00.000+08:00

Today...hmmmm well I woke up quite early and got a bus into London as I was in Sandhurst-arrived in Victoria station after an uneventful bus ride in...It was as interesting as usual-that particular dreamlike cold feeling you get when your at the back of the bus early in the morning sitting on the last seat that is my favorite-well it's my favorite on a coach but when I'm on a red double Decker bus I like the front more to be honest-the left side has this special elevated little platform just wide enough for me to put my left foot on it comfortably...It makes my day when that happens-when the left seat in the front of the top of the double Decker bus is empty waiting for me to fill it!Yes, a very happy bunny.

So I got off at Victoria loving my nice warm coat more for the cold weather-I shouldn't have been cold at all considering I was wearing stockings, socks, warm boots, three thermals and the big coat-but inspite of all of this I couldn't stop shaking and stop my teeth involuntarily chattering away-someone remarked on my blue lips...And I don't wear blue lipstick, don't need to it seems.

I walked through the big open space that is Victoria central station to the underground passing so many people and their lives-its so strange how different contexts make so much of a difference to how you behave to different people.
On the underground every one had their underground face on. I like talking to people-but my mother says I'm too trusting-and that I shouldn't be like that as there is a reason why people do have a underground face on. You never know who your talking to Wendy.
Well I wont know unless DO I talk to them-and you can see by peoples eyes-they usually tell you a lot about the type of person your looking at.

So I got on the underground....Had an entire day of interesting hours-all of them....learning quite a bit from Winston. Then at 5pm I was back on the Jubilee line heading South again...At about 5:30 someone got on but held the door open to the train to wait for someone else to get on at which the emergency alarm went off and the very irate voice of the conductor come clearly through to the crowded car-please remove your foot from the door, please remove your foot REMOVE YOUR FOOT FROM THE DOOR, there are people here who are TIRED and have had a LONG day and who have CHILDREN and LOVED ones who are waiting for them to get home, please REMOVE your foot from the DOOR!Then suddenly there was another voice over the system-We apologize for the delay ladies and gentlemen and will be on our way shortly...

At which point all the underground faces came off and everyone sort of managed a half smile-but I couldn't stop smiling which got everyone looking at me and I didn't want all those underground faces to do that so I stopped.Well tried to at least-don't you just hate uncontrollable laughter made more obvious by the complete lack of it around you??? I do.

So then it was the last day for the greenline -a coach service that I use when I travel between Sandhurst and London-I got on at Victoria again and thought nothing of it sitting at the very back of the bus-though I am really going to miss the cheap fares...

At Hyde park all the regulars got on- David, Erik, Sharon, and Chris-well those are the names I can remember...as I only just learnt all their names last night, but we had a little party at the back of the bus complete with wine and crisps...It was so lovely talking to everyone usually I just sit at the back and pretend to read whilst sleeping or daydreaming, as I stare out the window at nothing in particular.
But last night I really only began to get to know the people that I know so well but just on face value-put it like this if I saw anyone of them in a shop we would stop and talk and find quite a lot to say but in the familiar surroundings of the bus everything is relative to how we have behaved there up till that moment-the bus service ending was a catalyst to change it gave everyone an excuse to come out their shells and the 7 bottles of wine weren't a bad idea either...Some of them have been using the service for 15 years....

I got off at Blackwater and discovered that I was out of air time....So I walked through the park (Memorial park) in the dark-it was so beautiful all the fire works going off in every direction lighting up the dark park with its fields and streams and trees all distorted into strange unknown shapes and shadows... only to be lighted in green, pink, blue, white and yellow lights flying through the dark sky.

I got to the lake and wished for my camera which I had left again...It would have been perfect to take photos of the fireworks-the line of trees and the reflection on the water of the bursts of colour.
ButI'm not really allowed to walk through the park as it's too dangerous so I don't think I will get that shot unless someone is brave enough to come with me and tempt fate. My days of walking though the park in the dark all alone are over...Sigh.As someone very dear pointed out to me-I might not take care of myself but there are other people who care about me so I should do it for them...and I realze I can be selfish so I'm going to try and change and always keep my camera joined to my hip.

I've been taking a lot of indoor studio shots with my camera but they are all in RAW now so even though I do have the program to convert them to jpeg I cant as my computers memory isnt enough and it keeps crashing under the pressure of everything I try and make it do...so when I get my laptop or buy some extra memory for this pc you will see the shots...they are really great! I am so excited-I took some of butterflys-the wings and their detail I think they are better as I have been thinking of taking of butterflies for a while now-always keeping an eye out for them in the wild -but lucky for me all these were dead pined down with little pins so they were not going anywhere- I really took advantage of that.The wings reminded me of leaves you know just like looking at the shape and the veins that make it so stong...

I'm going to private lessons with this photographer Winston-he's a professor of science, photography and a doctor in music...he has so many awards and is part of the fellowship of the queen and the royal british society of something-he just has done very well...been taking photos for 46 years and was a photographer for vogue. He is a wonderful teacher and I think I will/am learning quite a bit from him-I am doing this as I have never studied photography till now and think that its a good idea to get qualified so fingers crossed I will...I think that I will improve now-all the photos that you've seen so far on this blog are just me mucking about-but now hopefully I will become a master of the art. I aim to be the best I can be-even though I always seem to forget my camera...

2005-11-04T02:34:00.000+08:00

I suppose the main objective for me in taking photos would be to get people to lose themselves in the photo...Well that is what my mom says-quote on quote: You must take photos that people will lose themselves to, something to draw them in and get them to think...

So please lose yourself, be drawn in, and please think.

2005-11-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

Ahh the vibrant colours of autumn! Autumn is here! Autumn is here!

2005-11-01T10:21:00.000+08:00

To those of you who didn't know...this is what West Wittering looked like on the 31st of July in the year 2005 ( this year)

2005-11-01T09:56:00.000+08:00

The swimming river parted for the weight of her canoe as she dipped her oars and strained against the laughing,swirling currents that threatened to pull her down.
Haunting music of stream as the sweeping water bent more rules.
Like herself hopeful reeds struggling for peace.
For a place in the bed of stone,rock, sand and water.
The birds perched with glittering eyes preying for fish, on prey for life.
The air a mix of the river smells, the trees and the sky.

2005-10-31T00:13:00.000+08:00

2005-10-30T02:14:00.000+08:00

From what I remember of my life from the past I know that in some ways I am a different person but in others I will never completely out grow myself.

Those little mannerisms that just seem to stick, the way I can't eat (temperature) hot food or the way I wrinkle my nose when it's itchy. Those I will always keep because they are a part of who I am.There are those that I have made a conscious effort to ditch -like eating off other peoples plates and being too quiet...

But then I think back on how I was sooo petrified of the dark, so scared that I would be frozen in my bed too scared to move-the light and shadows of the moon shining through the screen and my windows would always be darker because of the greenhouse right outside my bedroom with all its hanging orchids and their long grasping leaves that seemed to sway and stalk the dark.And I haven't even started on the eyes in my cupboard...All the cupboards along the one wall had to be closed...They were in this dark wood and the grain of the wood would play tricks on my eyes contorting into strange faces and eyes that would stare and stare accentuated by the dark and my imagination.
So I would try and lie as still as possible trying not to move an inch-until I had to move to scratch an itch and then it would itch all over and then they would see me...Then I would cover my head with the blanket only to have the heat cause my lungs to scream for fresh air....I would finally convince myself that it was ok to take a peak outside the safety of the blanket for air only to be confronted with the eyes again....

This was my night-time reality for the first years of my life-well I slept in my parents room most nights and I'm sure it couldn't have been too good for their sex life-but you don't think that far when your small...I just knew that Daddy didn't like me coming in all the time.

So I've changed, evolved to the days that have become part of my life and part of me-I like to think that I have come a long way-I am no longer scared to the dark and I think that is because I have realized that there are things in this world that are far more menacing than the dark-it's what lurks in the shadows of the light that can be far more dangerous -always under the pretence of good.

2005-10-29T00:23:00.000+08:00

The past, now just ash.
To me the beginning has yet to come.
A flower to surface from the ground traveling up the stem past the leaves through the air all the way to me.

I burnt all bridges they no longer stand between divided water and land.

The end never here always to come, now is life and heart beat strong
I will to be
to stand here free.
head strong
would you be mine
I feel myself drifting beyond the speed of light
can you find me?
beyond this dark?

Birds fly high
higher then gone
specks cloud the sky
fly to me
down then further
they play the wind
wings strong and sure
they speak to me
I hear them
can you?
they say...
we are free
free to go where we please dip we sway
let current drift on
let wind sweep this cold, cold day away.

Too far driven
too far we float
too far is home
to there we go
to flowers flourished
to streams free
fast they swim though land and sea.

2005-10-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

In a world that spins to its daily tune, the light of day to the dark lack of it, I could tell you that global warming will eventually turn forests to dust. I could tell you of summers that strip great ice mountains melting them into the sea. I could tell you of birds who don’t know which way to fly because they don’t know what to expect when they migrate from season to season.I couldn'nt tell you how to breathe when the air around us could cave in, we live under pollution yet we pretend everything all right.%o

I could tell you more.

I could'nt tell you why we waste so much. I could tell you why it rains on the sea. I could tell of floods and drought that sweep what they want from what we know and come and come again.Blinding our love for mother nature our doubt for her ability to heal and rejuvenate growing. The earths path round the sun a delicate balance-her seasons like waves pushing and pulling the shore...And those seasons too with their cycles.Endless constructive and destructive circles.

In this world of today when all we live is now, I could'nt tell you what to like or who to follow. I could'nt show you how to dream however I could give you case studies of what the human spirit is capable of achieving. I could go where no one else would dare, till tomorrow’s new pioneer sees past me. To push what we know, to push what we do but I could push too far.

In that world of the past, who knows what secrets she would possess? I could tell you I’m digging, digging in the dust. Because I could tell you that we have to learn from our mistakes. Because who knows fact from fiction, we know only what we’re told and who could know what lies beneath if we don't dig past the layers of lives that have walked before.

I could tell you of dizzying sights, tastes, ways and smells if you’d only look beyond your culture.If you'd only just walk over a hill, if you'd only just get on that plane and take that adventure to look past yourself to see our beautiful world.Well getting out your front door is always a good start...

In our world of love and acceptance, I could tell you to care. I could tell you to give because of the stark extremes and how we live in between- knowing want or reaching the peak of Maslows hierarchy of needs. Because it’s always easier to see from the top. I could'nt tell you where your motivation comes from.

In the world of rush, rush, rush. I could tell you to stop and smell the flowers. I could tell you to phone your mom(or someone you don't phone very often if it isn't your mom...). You’ll probably not listen- I could tell you I already knew that.But one does hope...

In this world that you and I know, I could tell you about love though I could'nt tell you about hate and why we go to war.
Only to stop when we are all exhausted, the struggle now only to survive-the point of everything all but forgotten.

I could tell you about my world, that world of me. You could be in that world but you could never be me.

We all sing our own song, we all dance to our own tune, we all know our own lines to our own script of life and we all want to be free.

I could'nt tell you what keeps us going, I could tell you, you are probably intrigued just like me. I could tell you we are all the same in that everyone wants to matter, to have their claim to life.

I could tell you of dreams, I could talk of reality, I could wax lyrically about this or that. Not that it would matter past this weeks paper round, cold news never to be re-served. That hot read, scratches your itch to know to care, to hear, to share, who we are shaped by what we know.

2005-10-27T04:20:00.000+08:00

The Bus ride in wasn't without feature as she pushed her finger against the glass that let the world in that she was passing...A cold sunny day after a week of solid rain...The crisp clear cornflower blue sky...Stretching further than she could imagine, that sky with all its life taken in one breath at a time.

The seats in front of her were full with the backs of heads...She always did like the last seat at the rear end of the bus. That way nothing could take her by surprise-and no one would ever see what she was thinking, only feel her eyes on the backs of their heads as she stared without purpose ahead.

The sunroof was open and was swirling her hair playfully around her head-the only problem was that this was particularly annoying to her as she was feeling a bit on edge and that ice cold wind was just enough to do harm to her calm demure...Why didn't the couple with the matching jackets and shoes and sunglasses and pants do something about the cold? He could obviously see that it was distracting for his love...That her perfect hair was suffering a huge insult by the draft?

Pushing her glasses back into place and with a huge sigh she went back to her book with new resolve...Despite of the fact that it seemed as though all the pages were merged into one.....

2005-10-26T09:03:00.000+08:00

My sisters best friends sisters wedding%) no, just my sisters best friends wedding...although she is friends with her friend who got married's brother

Buy the day
feel the hour
stop for a minute
say hello to time
this a day
this a hour
in my sisters life
when it all turned...
whole

2005-10-21T06:35:00.000+08:00

Sunshine on my face
dont you just love to be
the beach, the sky
and with high tide
a flooded senses day

to pack away
that picnic basket
filled with days
filled to play
as clear as the sky
with marshmellow clouds

mango trees
beam at me
their lovely fruit
hang to sway
a coconut breaze
that's been for days
in pineapple time
the day grows old
but for me
as I'm still young
buttermilk river
in search of a home
will it find one...
I dont know

2005-10-21T05:45:00.000+08:00

Pickup girl
with her pickup lines
for one or a thousand
she's one of a kind

Pickup girl
she's been dumped before
with her scrap yard signs
and used by dates
debris from a battered life

shorts skirts that hide hurt
come again
you might make her turn circles

Pickup girl
with her frills
rouse cheeks to tell it all
legs that beg for imagination
but still drive to distraction
the boys that go on by

Pickup girl
she can tell if your game
but you cant try tame her
and never will
she wants more than you could ever give
but takes your soul with a smile

Pickup girl
loose to find
a man who's blind
pick me ups
filled with bumps
shared,bared, worn,torn
she's hard with wear

pickup girl
with a heavy heart
heavy from carrying what she should not

her mothers child
all over again

Short note...This isn't about me before anyone gets worried...Hi mom!!! No...%) It's just a general observation I wrote a few months ago about what happens when a wound is left to fester and breed...The cycle a disease that is a struggle to break free from.

2005-10-20T07:29:00.000+08:00

2005-10-20T05:30:00.000+08:00

Dealing in Dubai
why,why,why?
Mr.High
so high in the sky
snorted, deported
done dealt shit
so hang up your crime
leaving it to die
and start a new life
because there once was a boy who didn't say cant
who had a rough start
when his life hit the fan
where the curb meets the pavement

Sandhurst memorial park

2005-10-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

2005-10-02T20:41:00.000+08:00

happy days, Mossel Bay Boy's on Diaz beach

2005-10-01T01:51:00.000+08:00

These are of obliging swans in memorial park in Sandhurst...Photos I took today walking by as the light was stretching its last rays though the trees and their leaves....I said I would rewrite this sooo...Here's something a dear friend said to me about a photo that I took that I thought was the most beautiful way to describe it....Even I was impressed with myself for taking such a profound photo after this...The juxtaposition between the light and the tree-to see the beauty of the tree you need the light and through the darkness there is something magical and mystical
Now its up to you to match photo to comment...%)

Swan lake reflections-for a good friend called Georges( a master of the piano)