The sound of pots on the fires and babies crying, chickens contributing their bit to the racket too.
Opening the bag of maize the measured out three cups worth and stirred it into the water boiling with salt.
By the fire she squatted patiently and made herself tea black with no sugar. Finally opening a tin of pilchards ,she ate in silence.
The little familiar pitter patter signaled to her, her precious parcel was wide awake. Now her day really started.
Scooping up the last remains of the memory of her breakfast she licked her fingers and sighed.
Arms wide stretched and hungry Hope engulfed her with her tiny arms, ÂSuch a big hug for Mommie, Hope you give the best hugs ,you know?Â
Sucking on her expectant breast she watched the happy form, eyes content nested in her mothers folds of love.
Sometimes she reminded Patience of her Husband Happy. Little things like the arch of her eyebrows when she was tired, the sound of her breathing when she slept, the way she looked when she laughed Just a replica of her father, but only the best bits.
He would be proud of this little bundle of joy, that comforted her.
Happy had worked on Sheba Mine .They had met at her cousins wedding, she had seen hope in him like a bright light that had rendered her deaf to the council of her mothers intuition. How could she have known, she had to follow this path, how could she not? She would never have taken anything back if she had the choice. There was Hope to live for now and life couldnÂt be imagined any other way.
Their life had been a dream like one long spring for the first year but she had struggled to conceive .No flower bloomed within her, her mother had told her what a gift she had been coming with the summer rain. And to be patient like she had been. Now she waited for her gift expectantly, always hoping.
But Happy grew tired and she grew desperate to prove something ,she did not know. That she was worthy to be a mother somehow and that God would show her grace.
Where have you been my Happy? The fire grows cold for me. I could be a good wife if you gave me your love.She sighed turning away to gather more wood to fire the blaze. She wanted it big, big enough to swallow her shame, warm enough so she never needed him again, if she was a better wife, if she had a child , if, if, if only. Happy just sat there neither denying or getting angry. Finally after a long drawn out silence punctuated by her muffled sobs, he said. I do not know anymore, I donÂt feel any more,I had a dream I fell too far, going down a little big deeper every day till at last the darkness and heat over whelmed my sense of light. You blinded me like a sun sky after a long night. I have been hiding, hiding from you in the dark and now itÂs too late. I will never see again.I donÂt see you any more..its so dark.The walls taunt me,closing in until I feel the life in me go out swallowed by doubt.
Two years passed and still no sign of the beautiful swell that should be inside her. Still she made the track down the mountain to work the fields.
She gathered wood and gossiped with the other woman who like herself worked in the valley ,walking down early before the sun showed its face and up after they had finished in the late afternoon.
Happy worked during the week and lived in a hostel for the workers on the mine, he only came home weekends. Sometimes she didnÂt see him for two weeks running.
Rumors started coming to her like flies on a hot day , swishing them away she tried to block the thought of Happy being unfaithful to her.
Oh, but you should have known the mine boys like to play Happy just couldnÂt stay away.The girls so free they float from man to man like bees on flowers and carry off their prize. Beware of the sting, beware of the lies.
A voice inside echoed the suspicions of her friends, she fed on it and it grew so big it became true.
Now Happy was becoming sick often and always seemed to be home, he was getting very thin and gaunt ,turning into a little feeble old man. She worried now more than ever because now she was eating for two. Her belly happy to be stretched and contained her pride. She resented him like no wife should, his illness eating into their savings. But for thatÂ
She loved him in her way trying to forget the man who took her heart giving it away hurt her more than words could ever tell To be honest she didnÂt know what to do, here a man with needs, here her heart with hurt to feel.
In the end it could be said that her love for him did not sin, she cared like he did not deserve. She could not turn from her loves heart beat.
Can you feel my love? Can you hear it in our ears? Its here, here inside me, can you see?
Can you feel lifeÂs kick, its struggles, struggles to be free, for me ,my love for me. I need this to, this life so new, can you feel hope, my love? Not in us anymore but in me? The gift you gave, cannot be repaid. I carry my love still. Not for us anymore but for me. My girl to be.
Happy lay there with flies drinking the sadwater from his hollow eyes, sores laced his skin like craters bombed raw. I would if I could take it back, I would if I could have kept your heart . Please believe my Love. Please believe in me!Exhausted with shame, his body a cage, his soul a slave. A slave to the past and what he could not undo.
Please believe,he whispered aching with desire.
Time IÂve felt it tells it steals
Time I know has gone will come
The day the hour this IÂve lived
By the year I appear
Trapped in age
Its binding power
Everlast not, this I know
For life today
And grave tomorrow
She sat there in the dark a shadow framed by fire. I do, my Love, I believe in hope. She held his hand the skeleton it was, and wept for her sense of loss.
But it was too late for fairy tails and everafters. No airbrushed lie or blurry illusion only the stark truth of life. She could not go back to the naive girl she once was, back to the fields of youth. Her harvest had come in, the ground worse for wear. Barren now with no more seed to sow. Mother, she cried. hold me from this lie IÂve lived, keep me from the pain.
Only please, never say I told you so.
Her mother, wise from many moons held her close and pored heardew from the pools of her eyes.
My child, my child
You are my hope
You are for me a dream
sweeping back the sands of time
My dreams out numbered the stars
like sparks of light they were
a dessert rose waiting to be plucked you were for me
and now you are my sunshine
From the ash of the past an abandoned seed grew tall, carried on the cycle of life and on its will to live.
That night the rain flowed free, it ran the mountain paths, not stopping for breath it seeped down, gushing with joy. To the valley in the mountain, to Love and Peace Street.
Whips of lightening slashing the darkness, like drums thunder beat the African sky. The clouds moved on, their shadow gone forever from her heart.
No tormenting rocks, just pebbles caressed the rain now. The storm over, the ground fill.
A cry of joy rang out the ground, a cry of love that once was lost. Ash from the past ,now this new life, with trembling green fingers she held up her prize. PatienceÂs long wait all but forgotten. She was worthy of this tiny being, a mother she swore she would always be nothing to take this love away.
The clouds moved on, no veil for this happy face. Indeed Hope, her sunshine cast the dark out of life banishing them never to come back. Her dream child was finally home.
Weeds grew strong knots over the grave of the forgotten, Happy would never know the brown eyed wonder girl, her laughter a kiss of immortal joy.
Opening the bag of maize the measured out three cups worth and stirred it into the water boiling with salt.
By the fire she squatted patiently and made herself tea black with no sugar. Finally opening a tin of pilchards ,she ate in silence.
The little familiar pitter patter signaled to her, her precious parcel was wide awake. Now her day really started.
Scooping up the last remains of the memory of her breakfast she licked her fingers and sighed.
Arms wide stretched and hungry Hope engulfed her with her tiny arms, ÂSuch a big hug for Mommie, Hope you give the best hugs ,you know?Â
Sucking on her expectant breast she watched the happy form, eyes content nested in her mothers folds of love.
Sometimes she reminded Patience of her Husband Happy. Little things like the arch of her eyebrows when she was tired, the sound of her breathing when she slept, the way she looked when she laughed Just a replica of her father, but only the best bits.
He would be proud of this little bundle of joy, that comforted her.
Happy had worked on Sheba Mine .They had met at her cousins wedding, she had seen hope in him like a bright light that had rendered her deaf to the council of her mothers intuition. How could she have known, she had to follow this path, how could she not? She would never have taken anything back if she had the choice. There was Hope to live for now and life couldnÂt be imagined any other way.
Their life had been a dream like one long spring for the first year but she had struggled to conceive .No flower bloomed within her, her mother had told her what a gift she had been coming with the summer rain. And to be patient like she had been. Now she waited for her gift expectantly, always hoping.
But Happy grew tired and she grew desperate to prove something ,she did not know. That she was worthy to be a mother somehow and that God would show her grace.
Where have you been my Happy? The fire grows cold for me. I could be a good wife if you gave me your love.She sighed turning away to gather more wood to fire the blaze. She wanted it big, big enough to swallow her shame, warm enough so she never needed him again, if she was a better wife, if she had a child , if, if, if only. Happy just sat there neither denying or getting angry. Finally after a long drawn out silence punctuated by her muffled sobs, he said. I do not know anymore, I donÂt feel any more,I had a dream I fell too far, going down a little big deeper every day till at last the darkness and heat over whelmed my sense of light. You blinded me like a sun sky after a long night. I have been hiding, hiding from you in the dark and now itÂs too late. I will never see again.I donÂt see you any more..its so dark.The walls taunt me,closing in until I feel the life in me go out swallowed by doubt.
Two years passed and still no sign of the beautiful swell that should be inside her. Still she made the track down the mountain to work the fields.
She gathered wood and gossiped with the other woman who like herself worked in the valley ,walking down early before the sun showed its face and up after they had finished in the late afternoon.
Happy worked during the week and lived in a hostel for the workers on the mine, he only came home weekends. Sometimes she didnÂt see him for two weeks running.
Rumors started coming to her like flies on a hot day , swishing them away she tried to block the thought of Happy being unfaithful to her.
Oh, but you should have known the mine boys like to play Happy just couldnÂt stay away.The girls so free they float from man to man like bees on flowers and carry off their prize. Beware of the sting, beware of the lies.
A voice inside echoed the suspicions of her friends, she fed on it and it grew so big it became true.
Now Happy was becoming sick often and always seemed to be home, he was getting very thin and gaunt ,turning into a little feeble old man. She worried now more than ever because now she was eating for two. Her belly happy to be stretched and contained her pride. She resented him like no wife should, his illness eating into their savings. But for thatÂ
She loved him in her way trying to forget the man who took her heart giving it away hurt her more than words could ever tell To be honest she didnÂt know what to do, here a man with needs, here her heart with hurt to feel.
In the end it could be said that her love for him did not sin, she cared like he did not deserve. She could not turn from her loves heart beat.
Can you feel my love? Can you hear it in our ears? Its here, here inside me, can you see?
Can you feel lifeÂs kick, its struggles, struggles to be free, for me ,my love for me. I need this to, this life so new, can you feel hope, my love? Not in us anymore but in me? The gift you gave, cannot be repaid. I carry my love still. Not for us anymore but for me. My girl to be.
Happy lay there with flies drinking the sadwater from his hollow eyes, sores laced his skin like craters bombed raw. I would if I could take it back, I would if I could have kept your heart . Please believe my Love. Please believe in me!Exhausted with shame, his body a cage, his soul a slave. A slave to the past and what he could not undo.
Please believe,he whispered aching with desire.
Time IÂve felt it tells it steals
Time I know has gone will come
The day the hour this IÂve lived
By the year I appear
Trapped in age
Its binding power
Everlast not, this I know
For life today
And grave tomorrow
She sat there in the dark a shadow framed by fire. I do, my Love, I believe in hope. She held his hand the skeleton it was, and wept for her sense of loss.
But it was too late for fairy tails and everafters. No airbrushed lie or blurry illusion only the stark truth of life. She could not go back to the naive girl she once was, back to the fields of youth. Her harvest had come in, the ground worse for wear. Barren now with no more seed to sow. Mother, she cried. hold me from this lie IÂve lived, keep me from the pain.
Only please, never say I told you so.
Her mother, wise from many moons held her close and pored heardew from the pools of her eyes.
My child, my child
You are my hope
You are for me a dream
sweeping back the sands of time
My dreams out numbered the stars
like sparks of light they were
a dessert rose waiting to be plucked you were for me
and now you are my sunshine
From the ash of the past an abandoned seed grew tall, carried on the cycle of life and on its will to live.
That night the rain flowed free, it ran the mountain paths, not stopping for breath it seeped down, gushing with joy. To the valley in the mountain, to Love and Peace Street.
Whips of lightening slashing the darkness, like drums thunder beat the African sky. The clouds moved on, their shadow gone forever from her heart.
No tormenting rocks, just pebbles caressed the rain now. The storm over, the ground fill.
A cry of joy rang out the ground, a cry of love that once was lost. Ash from the past ,now this new life, with trembling green fingers she held up her prize. PatienceÂs long wait all but forgotten. She was worthy of this tiny being, a mother she swore she would always be nothing to take this love away.
The clouds moved on, no veil for this happy face. Indeed Hope, her sunshine cast the dark out of life banishing them never to come back. Her dream child was finally home.
Weeds grew strong knots over the grave of the forgotten, Happy would never know the brown eyed wonder girl, her laughter a kiss of immortal joy.
posted by Miss Wendy Eileen at 12/10/2005 07:08:00 PM
1 Comments:
Hello , ello, llo, lo,o
Hellllo, helllo, ello ,ello ,elo lo ,o....................
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